Housesitting in Taradale

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Its actually become quite comfortable, being alone that is. I’m beginning to warm up to the idea of living solo more and more. Dad is off with Nicole in Crawford Bay so I volunteered to look after the house  –  and by “look after” I mean spend two days lounging around half naked, smoking and contemplating the choices I’ve made, and am about to make, in life.

That fucking hideous question pops up continuously… What am I doing with my life? Why did I do [insert stupid event here] with [insert name of fuckwit here] that one time? People and life irritate me more often than I let on.

Right now I’m in a relationship with a great guy. I spend my days planning the next time I see him and its almost as if he is okay with just floating along without any sort of game plan. I’ve spent the last 5 years of my life pining over different guys and hoping that one of them would be as interested in me as I was in them. I met Brodie! What a guy – he’s fantastic and I love him to pieces. But lately things have slowed down and are now rolling back down the hill we’ve just spent the last year walking up. I invited him to stay with me this weekend (we’ve had sleepovers before — I know what you’re thinking… gaaaaayy) but he said “if I’m being 100% honest, spending the night together at this point in our relationship, makes me uncomfortable..”    …What the fuck? Where did that come from? He’s mentioned it before, but I figured we were over it now.. he spent a night last weekend at my house. I planned a trip to a hotel for his birthday two weekends ago. Things were fine and now, all of sudden, he’s not okay with it? The fuck.

OKAY FINE – so that’s fine. We were going to spend today together and just chill, but he texts me and says ‘I’ll be around at about 4/430’ ..well no. Half the day is gone at that point! What does he expect me to do, sit around and wait for him all day? I told him that I was busy til 630 so he’d have to wait til then. I’m gonna light up and chill out with some sweet jams.

My best friend had her condo warming last night and I’m super jealous. I love her to pieces and I’m so happy for her – but fuck.. it would be lovely to have a place to hide away at. Like this place I’m staying in this weekend. Two bedrooms upstairs and a basement downstairs – not too shabby at all! It’s nice to be alone with my thoughts.

As usual, writing everything down has helped a lot..

S

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