Officially psyched for the next few years. I’ve found a couple programs I want to work towards – one in the UK – University of Kingston. The program would be for one year working towards my “Publishing & Creative Economy Masters (MA)” specializing in women’s literary traditions? Or women’s writing since the seventeenth century??
EITHER WAY – That would be perfect, Kingston is only 20 mins drive from Grandmas (about an hour on the bus) I could totally make that work! Wow..
S. Don’t lose sight of what is most important. Take the small steps now so that looking back in ten years, you can say ‘wow, I’ve come so far.’
Tonight I am slowing down to appreciate the simple pleasures of life. After reconnecting with some friends from the past I invited my favourites of today to join me in an evening of inappropriate smoking, drinking wine and, 100% guaranteed, an amazing evening 🙂
The happy comes in waves – Perhaps I have too much time on my hands? I constantly worry about the dumb things in life. But for now, just the glass in my hand and the friends sat across the table dominate my mind and consume my energy.
What’s wrong? Where are the smiles we used to share
behind the backs of the others?
Why are you keeping your sadness inside? I want to know whats wrong,
hold you until you feel safe enough to walk ahead of me.
Don’t you know you’re stronger than this?
Never look back, just know that I am half a step behind you
ready to catch you if you should fall.
Not that you would be down for long, because you’re you.
I admire. I fall every time. I just can’t help but love you.
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this homesick. The air here feels so foreign as though it has invaded, not I. Longing for a way back.
For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this:
“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:14
This passage wasn’t even mentioned this morning. I interpret this to mean that above all else, because Jesus died on a cross for me and my sins, the only way to fulfill every law of God is to love everyone around me. A sermon on sexuality led to the topic of homosexuality and I found myself filled with unease as the pastor explained his beliefs which were backed by cries of ‘amen’ from the congregation.
Sometimes I just don’t agree with the religion I label myself under. B and I have very different opinions on a lot of things.. I worry.
And if a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Mark 3:25
Where’s the line?
I started to see the light far above my head. Strange how it glistens, mocking me.
Knowing I won’t ever reach it I lean my head back and slip into the comforting gray I know. How it warms me.
Happy Wednesday, November 13, Folks!
I haven’t posted a weekly in a while so here goes! Every week Jill at Breaking the Spine hosts ‘Waiting on’ Wednesday. Instead of talking about books that are soon-to-be released I think I will talk about books already on my shelf that I’m looking forward to starting or finishing.
1. Graceling – This book has been staring me in the face for months now – I really want to know how good it is and delve into the world of fantasy this Christmas.
2. The Book Thief – I’ve heard so many wonderful things about this one. It’s coming out as a movie soon so Lauren gave me a copy to read… I am ashamed to say I haven’t even started it yet! Sooooooon.
3. Eragon – When I book-binged this summer and purchased 15 books in 2 weeks – this was one of them. The entire Inheritance series costs $60 so even though my intention is to read them all, I only bought Eragon and I really want to read it!
4. Sula – This Nobel Prize winning novel by Toni Morrison was assigned for my American Lit class. I’ve started it, but we don’t begin analyzing it until next week so I hope to finish this one by Sunday! Such a beautifully written novel.
5. Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood’s novel is on my book list for January 2014 for my Canadian Literature class. I’m pretty curious as to what discussion will come out of this novel in our class.
Which books are you looking forward to reading in the coming weeks/New Year? Loop it back.
That horrible moment when you realize you haven’t written a post on your blog for over a month.
I miss writing so much. I’ve sat down to write many times and have 10 very rough draft posts. I have some ideas for poems – but I’ll wait to unleash them until I start my poetry class in January. Lately I’ve just been so lazy. I wrote a six page essay talking about the layers of history in two poems for my American Literature class a couple weeks ago – after submitting it I realized I had effed up the title and misspelled one of the words. IN THE TITLE. What a mess. Since then I’ve kind of given up on school (not really). For next summer, I’m looking for a job at a magazine, or with a publishing house, as an editing intern. Anything that keeps me writing all summer would be prime.
Personal I’ve been spending a lot of time with A and B recently. Since A’s mum has been away, we’ve just bonded and enjoyed each others company. A brought another A into our little group and she’s wonderful, a little awkward — but wonderful. I had a little shindig for Halloween and while it went really well, something seemed off. Our group isn’t as tight as it once was and I’m afraid that as time goes by we’re all going to start getting pissy at each other. N and K had a celebration for K’s birthday and didn’t invite us, which was weird. B and I are kind of frustrated, and to be honest, my feelings are sort of hurt over it. There is never a time when I don’t invite all of my friends to come and be together, so when I find out that my friends organize events and don’t include me it’s a slap in the face — am I wrong? Trying to rebuild a friendship is tough. Once you’ve been screwed over it’s tricky to trust that person again. I’m not sure what will happen, but hopefully it’ll blow over and we can all just learn to be more considerate of each other.
My anxiety has been super high lately. Lots of what I have going on is getting me stressed. If I’m not at school, I’m working. If I’m not working, I’m volunteering. Then I have rehearsals for Sundays and Christmas. I teach Jr. High Class. I also have friends, and my mum in one house and my dad in another. My man keeps me grounded, but it’s hard to talk about such depressing things sometimes. I don’t want to be a downer, so I keep things to myself and then they build up and the ground is swallowing me and even though nothing bad is happening I feel like I can’t breath and I’m suffocating all because of how exciting life is… Because I just can’t cope with too many things at once. Does anyone else feel this way?
BooksI can’t believe how good this month was for me and books. I read Doctor’s Sleep which was pretty fantastic, started reading Dante’s Inferno and Sula by Toni Morrison (for my Am. Lit. Class). The rundown from now until Christmas will be so busy for reading so I’m getting a head start. Speaking of which I should go and read for my class tomorrow morning as it’s already 11pm and I’m exhausted.
I’m sorry I’m not around much – I’ll try to post more than once a month from now on!
It is 9:16 am, as I sit down to write this post, and it has already been such a beautiful day. I wish I could say that the beauty extended to the weather outside, although I have to admit we are having autumn in a way I’ve never seen in Calgary. I woke up to a text from my dear friend J giving me instructions on exactly how to get to her apartment for tomorrow’s “friends-giving”. It’s the first time we’ve been invited to a thanksgiving dinner outside our family and it just makes me feel all grown up! I’m not sure what to wear, but it’s going to be something Fall and something fabulous!!
I then checked other notifications on my phone and there were a bunch from WordPress. Instead of looking at each one on the tiny screen on my phone I moved to my laptop and began to open all the messages of love left behind from visitors to my blog. I reached fifty followers and have been nominated for the Liebster Award ❤ Lauren has been the inspiration behind this blog since day one. Even though our lives are quite different and we don’t see each other as often as either of us would like, I feel she has become family.
Along with a few other people here in Calgary, A and B, I’ve never felt as blessed when it comes to companionship as I do now. True friends. Not just friends that text when they’re bored and remember you’re around – friends that actively think of you and are excited to see you busy in your life. They’re happy for you when, even though you don’t have time to hang out as often, you are genuinely happy.
What a wonderful morning.
Over the last few days I realized that I still have so many faults that I need to work on. When it comes to my faith and being an upstanding citizen, I sometimes feel like a failure. Instead of letting this get me down I’m now just allowing that feeling of disappointment to push me forward and make me work at being a better, more loving, less-selfish person. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m unbearably selfish, or hateful, I just feel like those two areas of my personality need work done to get to place where I am happy.
In other news: I’m giving myself two days to read The Book Thief, and then I must get back to my course readings – In Cold Blood and Scarlet Letter (somehow I managed to get an A on that exam without having even read the book – hehe).
Love you all. Thank you so much for your support on this blog. There are some stand out blogs for me that should expect some award nominations soon 🙂